Free Agency
And the uncertainty that comes with it
Being a free agent can be very unsettling. I’m not talking about being a free agent as a high end NHL player (I had a sliver of a taste of that once upon a time and it was a lot of fun). I’m talking about being a free agent as an older veteran bubble player. In cases like mine, it is nerve racking. Immediately when the door closes on the season, you wonder if that same door closed on your career as well. The training you are doing in the off season, is it all for nothing? You can go weeks at a time without hearing from your agent and then when you do there is no news. No nibbles. Is this the end? You constantly wonder. Your life’s purpose could have snuck out the back door like an undisciplined dog and you aren’t even aware of it yet. You are too busy preparing for a season that may never come.
Thats the feeling of being a free agent.
You see, as you get older, your game becomes more clear. Teams know exactly what they can expect from you. The mystery of being a young player full of potential fades into a clear expectation of your production levels. You lose the advantage of youth. Of mystery. Untapped potential becomes veteran expectation. It’s not all bad, teams need veteran players to guide the youth and establish culture. But you lose an invisible bargaining chip as you age.
Isn’t Europe an option?
It is, but their season starts earlier. So they sign players earlier. And if you elect to wait to try and find a job in North America, you miss out on a lot of those opportunities. Especially on the good teams. There is also potential complications with bringing family over there. So Europe is not always an easy option or choice
So here I wait. Wondering where my next hockey game will be played. What state, country, continent will it be in. Will it be professionally or will it be men’s league.
I realize that last sentence is dramatic. But when you sit and think about it long enough, you never know when it will all be over. I first had those thoughts midway through last season. This roller coaster ride of a career can be over at any time. It helped me perform better. It took pressure off. Maybe there is a lesson in there. Maybe letting this situation unfold as it will is the way to go.
That sounds right. I’m going to let it marinate, and prepare my best even though the future is uncertain.
In the meantime, I will try to bring more writing here.
Nicely written. I think you've probably got more to mine creatively and philosophically out of this subject. My impression is that people look at players like Patrick Laine (who earned 8.7M this year and didn't play) and think he's got it easy. I argue that regardless of how much money a player makes, if they've spent their whole lives practicing and participating, not "playing" must really mess with an athlete's mind.